Alan Stevens

International Profiling and Communications Specialist

“Imagine Being Able to
Persuade and Influence the
Behaviours and Outcomes of
Everyone Around You”

Alan Stevens:

“The Leading Authority on Reading People, Globally” (UK Guardian)
“The Mentalist Meets Dr Phil” (The Herald)

Alan Stevens is regularly featured on National TV, Radio and in the World’s Press, profiling the likes of our leading politicians,
TV and sports stars as well as Britain’s Royalty.

Alan Stevens Short Bio

Alan Stevens is an International Profiling and Communications Specialist.
Alan has taken the skills he teaches international clients, the likes of Disney Films and Gillette, high profile organisations like the Australian Federal Police, into schools and families, here and around the globe, to help them enhance the ability of their children and students. To help them reach their full potential while improving the experience of all involved. He is now creating programs for School, TAFE and University graduates and those who are soon to graduate, to help them build Emotional Intelligence so they fair better in interviews and in the workplace.

Alan Stevens:
Facebook Business Group Page:

Your Free Gift From Alan Stevens

Alan has kindly offered two free gifts for you today.
1. Free Guide to the 7 Tips on how to read and communicate with people more effectively
Learn how to build stronger relationships in all areas of your life. The tips covered will assist you in all areas of your life, including:
• building a strong workplace culture to improve cooperation and increase profits
• reducing workplace and personal conflict and remove stress
• improving sales performance and increasing revenue
• creating a happier family life
• raising and teaching children and guiding them to a more productive future
2. Free chapter download from the book “Game Changers ~ Entrepreneurs Leading Change.
Enjoy these gifts from Alan

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Alan Stevens: Live Love By Design Complete Guest Profile

Alan Stevens was Born in the Sydney Children’s hospital and grew up in Padstow, about 22 kilometres South West of Sydney. He has one surviving sister, Christine who is 2.5 years older. He would have also had an older sister but she passed away as a young child, long before he was born.

Alan’s father died when he was three years old, which meant she grew up not having experienced his direct influence. He lived with his mother and sister until he was transferred to Newcastle for work. His mother was an extremely competent woman. It was through her that he learnt to do maintenance around the home, including building, painting and plumbing. From a very early age Alan was doing those jobs while other kids were out playing. In later life, he was happy for those experiences as it set me up for the future. It taught him tenacity and resilience that set the path for greater and future achievements.

After being told by an uncle and his teachers that he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed in year 9 he sat the entrance exam to the Post Master Generals department, which later split to become Australia Post and Telecom (now Telstra).

Missing out confirmed that his uncle and teachers had been right, but with tenacity he resat the following year. Again, missing out, so he applied for a job as a cabinet-maker with Chiswell furniture. The team he was placed with weren’t happy to have a 16-year-old join them, especially when they were pushing for their Christmas bonuses. This was the first time he worked with people who didn’t want to work with him. The end result – they got their bonuses and he won them over, to which he thanked the work ethics he’d learnt from his mother.

When Alan looks back now; every industry and field he’s worked in, every social, community and charity organisation he served and everything else he has done including raising his 3 sons on his own, at the core has been the ability to build relationships.

A couple of months after being rejected by the PMG the second time, they accepted him by telling him that as many people had not taken up their approved position that they would now take him.

That started his 5-year apprenticeship as a technician in training. To get ahead in the 3rd year he also started a 4-year full Communications Certificate course at college, doing both concurrently for two years.

The year he completed the certificate a posting came up in Newcastle, which at the time everyone thought would be a dead-end job. He took it on and transferred to Newcastle, which proved to be a wise move. Due to the introduction of new technology, the position grew fast and he became one of the youngest Supervising Technical Officer in Australia – not bad for someone who initially the PMG had rejected not once but twice.

23 years later he left them as a Principal Technical Office.

Since then Alan has worked in many different industries, both as an employee and in his own businesses. In positions including, technical, marketing, sales, different therapies, counselling and labouring roles. In industries including hospitality, health, housing, fuel, finance, education, weight loss and fitness. Management roles in surf lifesaving, board member roles in charities and presently as a non-executive board member of a primary school.

Two things have been at the centre of everything Alan has done:
• The first are the words of UNCLA Coach, John Wooten “The most important thing I will ever learn is the next thing I learn after I think I know everything”
• And the second, “What you do for yourself dies with you, but what you do for others and for the world, is and always will be eternal”. (Author unknown, though he has adopted as his own)

Alan lives each day with these two guiding philosophies as he knows he will never stop growing through learning and that he was born to leave a legacy to the world.

Alan likes to think that’s not a bad effort from someone still living in regional Newcastle.

Alan raised 3 sons from the ages of 4,11 and 12, on his own when their mother left the marriage. Since then Alan has married and divorced for a second time about 18 years ago.

You might describe Alan as a happily single sexagenarian father of 3 sons and 5 grandchildren with a burning obsession to create and train his business competition, whilst knowing he has been true to his two priorities, whether others recognise it or not!

0:14 hello and welcome to another episode of Live Love By Design TV I’m Karen Chaston
0:22 and today I have the most amazing guest he’s been a friend of mine for about
0:28 four five years now and his name is Alan Stevens and he is a profiling and
0:35 communication specialist sounds interesting does not it, so let’s bring
0:40 Alan on hello and welcome okay thanks very much for inviting me along Karen
0:45 I’m looking forward to having a chat with you again exactly always love our
0:50 chats because we really do listen to each other and we really do learn every
0:56 time we chat from each other don’t we oh we’ve had some great times on your
1:01 radio station and just having cups of coffee and
1:04 getting together as well it’s been brilliant exactly so for our viewers
1:08 what is a profiling and communication specialist well basically I help people
1:15 to read other people to understand them their personalities their emotions etc
1:21 so that they can connect with them in a far more effective manner
1:24 so every area of your life whether it be raising children or in business or in
1:30 social areas as well how to actually connect with somebody and speak to them
1:34 in the way that they like to be spoken to perfect so that definitely fits under
1:39 the second pillar which is the Live Love pillar all about your relationships
1:44 but I know for a fact that it all starts with you doesn’t it which is the first
1:48 pillar which is all about you and so you have to learn to profile yourself before
1:55 you can profile other people is that correct that’s right I heard a
1:59 yeah a really good Facebook live the other day from another friend of mine
2:04 who talked about don’t treat people as you would have them treat you which is
2:10 really true because when we speak to people we talk to in the way that we
2:13 want to be spoken to which is quite often not the way they want to be spoken
2:17 to so you need to be able to first of all understand yourself and then change
2:22 the way that you like to be spoken to to match the way that they want to be
2:26 spoken to and treat it and that where you’ll have better relationships
2:28 okay so if I’ve just met somebody how on earth would I know how they would like
2:36 to be spoken to well funnily enough it’s all in the
2:39 facial features as far as their personality and in their facial
2:43 expressions will tell you their emotions and will tell you how well you’ve
2:47 actually connected with them okay so give us a couple of examples I’m happy
2:52 for you you know obviously profile me even though you know me quite well and I know
2:55 you quite well how for example like for example would someone just by looking at
3:01 me what would they learn just like two or
3:04 three different things okay well first of all I’m going from memory here
3:08 I’m being very vain today I’ve got my glasses sitting on the table
3:11 please yeah we all know that you’ve got a dry sense of humor but that can be
3:17 seen on your face as well this is this area beneath the nose and above the lip
3:20 when it’s a large area the person is laid-back very much a dry sense of humor somebody Oh I like that
3:28 that’s really easy isn’t it so you don’t go so therefore you don’t get telling
3:33 you sort of dry jokes to someone who’s got a very narrow gap
3:37 between the bottom of their nose and their top of their lip that’s it well
3:41 where their particular strength is that we see them as a little bit more fussy
3:44 but they become you know really fantastic when it comes to design work
3:47 for instance they walk into a room they can see a blank tell you what colors will work
3:51 well where the furniture should go and everything cut whereas us with the
3:55 dryer sense of humor probably don’t really appreciate it until we actually
3:58 see it in place so every trait has an upside and every trait has a downside so
4:02 there’s no right or wrong trait Oh I love that because that’s what I say all the time there is
4:07 no right or wrong there’s just differences or different ways of doing
4:12 things and doing perfect so how did you get into this tell us a little bit of
4:19 your background I got into this probably because I was a disaster at Reading
4:24 people so from a young aged from here from a very young
4:30 age well one of the first things that when I got into the business world I was
4:34 a technician in with the old PMG when it became telecom and I came from Sydney
4:41 Newcastle and put in charge of a group of men who are all older than me
4:45 in fact my second in charge was 38 and I was 23 oh did he like not exactly and one
4:52 of the other gentlemen there had actually been my senior officer in
4:55 Sydney but now he was on my staff as well oh well he is still a mate
5:00 today we go to his place once a week or
5:02 every three weeks and we get our haircut when the barber comes in the
5:05 meets us so the mid thing was to build relationships and have them
5:09 longer-lasting and that’s what virtually happened but the second thing for me was
5:12 I joined the surf club in my later years now the same age as everybody else in
5:17 the club but as they pointed out I’d only just done my bronze a couple of years
5:21 before and they’d been there since I were young kids and otherwise nippers
5:24 yep so I had to get them onside and they made me the club captain so I had
5:30 to tell these more experienced people what to do and had to do it the way in
5:34 which they wanted to do it and then in my late 30s my first wife left me with
5:38 three boys to raise they were four 11 and 12 so you could say I went from being the
5:43 youngest in business to the least experienced in a community area and then
5:50 as I say totally out of my depth raising three boys on my own which by the way
5:53 gave me a great appreciation for women who do the same thing oh no its that great
5:58 and I always loved the saying that the best gift a man or a father can ever
6:03 give his sons his respect for other women so good on you that was one of the
6:09 things another reason why I had to teach them how to read people as well because
6:12 I knew if they didn’t respect their mother so we had to build a relationship
6:15 there if they didn’t rebuild a relationship with her then they go
6:19 through my history of a lot of relationships
6:22 and so I had to teach them how to respect their mother that then worked
6:26 really well and they’ve all got their their families they’ve got their
6:30 partners and their children and I can turn around now and so I’ve got three
6:34 sons that I love and respect they’ve grown up really well I love that so at
6:40 23 how did you know that building relationships was the way that you’re
6:47 going to succeed in life oh I would say I was still a little bit slow it’s like
6:52 I say to people if you want to get me to realise
6:55 something put a neon sign up because I still didn’t get it then I just knew I
6:58 needed to get those men onside I had to get rid of the angst that was going
7:02 on between us yep so I just worked on that I don’t
7:06 think I consciously realized it was about relationship then Ok I just
7:11 thought well I’ve got to get these men connected and with that I started
7:15 understanding how they wanted to be treated I didn’t have the skills I’ve
7:18 got today if I had i would have been done so much faster okay so you said that
7:24 your first wife left you with three young boys would have your relationship been
7:30 different if you had the skills that you had now would you still be married to
7:33 her don’t know if I’d still would have been married because it takes two to tango
7:39 Yes but if you both had the awareness. If we both had the awareness we would have been talking to each other
7:44 completely differently we would have had a different type of respect for each
7:47 other and it would have been a completely different environment I know
7:51 some of the people I have worked with who have been not so much in a great
7:54 relationship with any of their children or their partners and once they have
7:57 started to learn how to read each other and they apply that their relationships
8:03 right through the family have changed and that’s flowed on to their social and
8:06 into their businesses as well I totally agree with that and I have been
8:11 around you as I said for quite a while and I’ve seen the people around you who
8:15 work with you that actually happen now businesses is you know obviously the
8:22 third live love pillar which is all about your expertise whether you work for
8:27 someone or you actually own a company and you run it what you do is so
8:33 important to actually get people not only appreciating each other but
8:40 realizing that everyone wants to be spoken to differently that’s it because
8:44 you know when you start treating your team exactly the same and I didn’t
8:48 realize this but when I was in Newcastle in telecom in those days I had one staff
8:54 member who would always come in late he would always let me know who’s coming in late
8:58 and some of the other men complained about it but when I pointed out to them
9:01 I said look at the work that he’s doing he’s doing the jobs that none of you
9:04 like to do and he would very happily do it because I had treated him in a way in
9:08 which it was able to take some of the
9:10 pressures of home life of him and he did just as much if not more work than the other
9:14 guys in the shorter period of time I love the fact you noticed that because a lot of
9:19 part-time workers actually are treated as though they are not as good because
9:25 they’re not there for the full time hours but they do produce more in
9:30 those hours that they’re there then their full-time counterparts do and this
9:35 works out for everybody in the business if you’ve got people who are unhappy
9:37 their performance drops by on average about 30 percent if someone’s being
9:42 bullied 70 percent of their performance has gone out the window and 40 percent
9:46 on everybody else who is observing it even though they’re not being bullied
9:50 they just observe it their potential drops as well it’s like you being a new
9:53 CEO in and they start rationalizing the organization and laying people off and
9:57 trying to right size and everything else performance drops immediately of course
10:01 and so by knowing that well I put a post out on LinkedIn recently and then
10:06 followed up with a second one and a video to explain it that was on take
10:10 care of your employees and they’ll take care of your business
10:13 I like that saying I use it all the time that’s what I do well ninety nine
10:19 thousand likes comments shares and views later five months prove them from the
10:25 comments that were coming through that most people don’t understand what take
10:28 care of your employees is it’s not wrapping them in cotton wool it’s not
10:32 giving them extra money and things like that
10:34 it’s valuing them giving them a role where they feel like they’re contributing and everything
10:38 else that’s what I did with this guy without knowing any of this stuff all those
10:42 years ago and he worked his tail off for me it was always okay what job do you
10:46 want me to do next I never had to go hunting for somebody he was always there
10:50 and that’s the difference isn’t it it’s treating them like humans and also giving
10:56 them space to grow because we all get bored so quickly and all the people
11:01 forget that hmm so the true definition of a good business person is somebody
11:06 who employs somebody who is smarter than them who can do the work that they can’t
11:12 or don’t want to do so they can go on holidays and the company not only
11:15 survives but it grows in their absence Richard Branson that’s exactly what he’s done for the past
11:21 50 odd years yeah because if you own that business
11:24 and you have to be there you’re the full-time employee you’re the
11:28 one who works harder than everybody else if you’re a business person you work on
11:32 the business not in it and the only way you can work on it not in it is by
11:36 having your staff that they are so excited to be there that they take
11:40 ownership of the business themselves and you can let them get on with running the
11:43 inside the business I love that oh no wonder we’re such good friends were so
11:48 connected in how businesses should certainly run so the fourth little Pillar
11:53 which we’ll touch on very quickly is all about your wealth creation and obviously
11:59 that goes from all about you all about your relationships all about your
12:03 expertise and your wealth creation so what do you feel is a great little tip
12:09 for people in accumulating wealth its first of all it’s doing what you love
12:15 doing whether you call wealth finances or the feelings of connections we’ve
12:21 gotten everything goes all of those riches only happen when you’re feeling
12:26 when you’re focused on what you’re doing you’re happy in what
12:30 you’re doing you attract the people around you who want to be part of there
12:34 as well because we all have so much time on the planet we all have the same number of
12:38 seconds in the day and so with that we’re going to have so much to
12:43 bring people in to that we’re bring the right people in and you do that when
12:46 you’re in the right attitude and you’re treating people the right way doesn’t
12:49 matter whether you’ve got a lot of money or not your whole life feels so much
12:53 more wealthier and richer because you’ve got that happier time each day and if
12:58 you’re happier you don’t need as much money Yes you need it for all the medical
13:03 fees and that when you need counseling and everything else so you disabled that
13:07 straight away not on that on alcohol and all those sort of not so ideal habits
13:13 that we can sort of tend to bring into our lifestyle just to get through the
13:18 day yeah well you sit down with a friend you have a glass of wine or a beer and
13:22 it’s a social one you enjoy it you actually get the savor the flavor
13:26 whereas when you’re stressed all you’re doing is trying to drown your misery
13:30 exactly and it cost you a lot more for the booze and it has a
13:34 a detrimental effect on your body where’s the rest of it when you enjoying
13:37 the company with somebody you’re happier the chemicals you’re creating with your
13:40 thoughts that’s feeding your body yes so for your from your point of view on
13:46 everything that you’re doing at the moment
13:48 what is the I’ll give you two things what are the two things that you wish
13:53 that you had known in your late teens early 20s that you now share with
13:59 everyone well I heard a saying a little while ago and I think I’ve been living
14:03 to it now for a little while but I didn’t realize it before I think when I
14:06 was younger I would have would have known it what we do for our self dies
14:10 with us but what we do for others is and always will be eternal and so if I had
14:15 lived that the first time the people I had around me because I’ve been through
14:18 where I had business partners who ripped off the bank I had a lot of personal
14:22 relationships that broke down if I had understood that the first time around I
14:26 would have been treating people differently to start with I would have been
14:29 happier and my whole existence all the way through would have been a much more
14:33 enjoyable time so that the first thing would have you been treating yourself differently as well
14:38 definitely what would have you changed so sorry about yourself what would have you done
14:45 differently well I didn’t really give myself much time when I grew up I was
14:50 always told I’d never amount to anything that’s what I got from my family and so
14:54 all of that all of those beliefs about myself I was in a completely different
14:58 state all the way through until I finally started working with people and
15:01 they understood that what other people were saying wasn’t me it was about them
15:05 it was through their lens once I understood that then I was able to
15:10 change my attitude to things so that would be the first place that I’d
15:12 recommend that anybody look at is know yourself know the personality you’ve got
15:18 the upside the downside of your traits because if you’re somebody who has say
15:22 dramatic appreciation really express yourself really well just a natural
15:26 performer you’ll also do stress the same way then to other people who are the
15:30 opposite they’ll pull back from you because to them you’ll come across as a
15:33 drama queen but if you know that you know why your buttons get pushed you change
15:38 your environment or you’re prepared for when those situations arise so the
15:42 downside of your traits don’t get triggered and you can really focus on
15:45 the upside of the traits yes now can you change your traits you can you
15:51 what will actually happen under stress we always revert back to our personality
15:55 there are certain traits that are passed down from their parents in the DNA
15:58 they’re what we call the nature traits then we have our nurture traits which
16:03 are our response to our environment so those ones will change when we change
16:07 our attitude to how we see our environment everything is a disaster
16:11 then you’re going to pick up like the corner of the mouth will turn down if
16:15 you frown a lot the person whose corner of the mouth turns down a lot
16:18 they’re more likely to be pessimistic about things as opposed to where it
16:22 turns up where they’re more likely to be happy about things see the up side of
16:25 things they recover quickly though you know some people gets further and
16:30 further down and yes it’s a sign of age because we go through a lot of
16:34 things over our lifestyle our life time but if we look at value things
16:38 differently and we smile and laugh a lot more which is all what I’m doing now I
16:42 started turning well mine was down when I started turning it back up again oh
16:46 because these muscles get stronger and therefore shorter naturally pulls it up
16:50 so you can change some of those nurture traits in deciding on how do you respond
16:56 to your environment differently so you can change some of that they take a
16:59 while and it’s practice you know your buttons are gonna get pushed gonna drag
17:04 you back into old patterns but if you understand well these are my traits the
17:08 upsides and the downsides something gets triggered yeah oh that’s that trait okay
17:13 if I allow it to take dominion over to me or do I take the dominion over it
17:18 yes but the first step is obviously awareness because some people don’t even
17:22 realize that maybe they’re doing it or it’s just my personality you know to become a good
17:31 driver first you had to realize that you couldn’t drive the car in the first
17:34 place oh I don’t know sometimes I think I don’t do it well parallel parking gets me I think it’s the pressure of it when someone’s behind you
17:50 That’s why you need on of those that parks it self yeah exactly so people who have face lifts then
17:57 obviously they’re going to change the way they look I don’t personally I don’t
18:02 understand why they do I like my laughter lines and I like the fact that
18:06 you know I’m still gonna walk like at the age I am so what’s the
18:10 point of changing everything so what are your comments on trying to read someone
18:15 who’s done that well I’m looking at about 68 traits in the face so you can
18:20 change a couple but I look at whatever else stands out one of the things I
18:24 always like to say to the women’s groups that I talk to if you’re a mature age
18:28 woman and that you should have these lines out here because the only time you
18:32 get those laughter lines is when you smile a lot and the orbital muscles
18:36 around the top of the eyes really tighten up and crinkle the skin ah
18:39 if you’re a mature age woman and you don’t have those lines either you have had
18:44 cosmetic surgery to remove them or you’re somebody who has never smiled you’ve never
18:49 really been happy in your life so if I go into a room and I’m looking around
18:52 I’m looking for the woman who’s got some character in her face I see those lines
18:56 and I see the mouth turned up that’s together because I’m looking at the
19:00 traits together there and I’m seeing that the lines are there the mouths
19:03 turned up this is person who’s happy most of the time if she’s been happy
19:06 a lot like right now as well if the mouth turned up there’s no lines well
19:10 maybe she’s had cosmetic surgery but the line the mouth turned up is because
19:14 she smiles she can’t change that if I don’t see the lines and I don’t see
19:18 the mouth turned up I’m not gonna go and talk to that woman because she’s
19:21 probably not going to be a very happy person to be around
19:24 I like good conversation I like to add this because where they say that beauty is
19:31 only skin-deep this is and they used to say ugly goes
19:35 all the way to the bone so in other words a character side of things
19:38 those lines up here that’s beauty that goes all the way to the bone it shows me
19:43 a woman who has smiled all of the life is therefore been cheerful and probably
19:47 somebody that would have been a great mother great partner someone who’d be
19:50 nice to be around and that’s the person I’m gonna go and talk Good I’m taking that
19:54 as a compliment and you should and I think any other woman who’s listening to this who has got those
19:59 lines if you’re thinking of getting up getting rid of them get over it
20:03 oh isn’t that loving and to be quite honest it is only women who worry about
20:07 it I know most men always why would you want to change your face
20:11 yeah exactly Oh I just love talking to you so did you
20:16 give me two things that you would have changed when you were late teens early
20:21 20s or just the one well when I first started I
20:25 I probably lived to it as well the most as I said the most important thing I’ll
20:29 ever learn is the next thing I learned after I think I know everything so
20:32 especially as I got older I became much more of a perpetual learner uh you know
20:37 Telecom was the area I worked in as a technician I’m a massage therapist aroma
20:40 there at the sound therapy color therapy you know NLP all these other
20:46 things I’ve had a few friends who’ve actually said to me Alan you’ve done
20:49 just about every therapy you’re probably about time you started therapy always
20:59 keep learning and add to what you’re doing
21:01 and that way you’ll always grow and I if I’d known that when I was younger I
21:06 probably would have started a lot sooner I agree and people don’t
21:10 understand it they see personal development as a cost where is it such
21:14 an investment not only you but also your family because you will you’ll end up
21:21 getting rid of all of your negative beliefs all of the beliefs that are
21:26 limiting you from actually becoming the person who you came here to be which I
21:31 just love the fact that you know get out of your comfort zone and start becoming
21:36 your most amazing version of yourself and that’s what your programs
21:42 are all about isn’t it exactly you see I love the connection to what you do as
21:46 well because you’ve talked about the wheel etc in all those
21:50 different areas and it doesn’t matter which one you start with they all
21:54 connect to each other so it’s the same thing here if I teach someone how to
21:57 read their children they have a better connection with their children the child
22:01 grows up and even themselves they have a better relationship naturally there with
22:05 their partner because there’s less angst going on in the household when they go
22:08 to work they’re happier and if they’re happier at work they’re more productive
22:11 the company’s making more money and then when they come home they don’t bring
22:15 their upset and few problems I had at work so everybody’s a winner
22:19 why with the men’s group on running the moment with men at all
22:23 about their stories and everything goes the ultimate winners in that are the
22:27 mothers and the other wives in their ah their children now that means we and we
22:32 do have links below this video as ways you can connect with Alan I think
22:37 there’s about seven or eight different sites but just briefly tell us about the
22:41 campfire project okay one of the biggest problems we have today we had first of
22:45 all we had the MeToo movement the hashtag metoo then we’ve now got our
22:50 hashtag men too because men are starting to fall behind so I put together we
22:55 together and the campsite program it’s the same as we did in tribal times men
23:00 would sit around a campfire and talk to each other this was how boys learnt from
23:04 men because it’s not by telling somebody it’s what we show our children is how
23:08 they grow up they would sit around there and talk so I decided it was a time to
23:14 actually create a Facebook page where men could come in a safe environment
23:18 where they could then sit there and give themselves permission to tell their
23:22 stories to other men and share what they learnt with other men that are going
23:26 through similar stuff now but the group is also open to the women as well so the
23:30 women could come in and so it’s not secret men’s business but they can
23:34 appreciate this is men’s business where men will raise boys into manhood and
23:38 biggest problem today is most men have no idea what their role is in the family
23:43 they don’t know what their role is and at work we’ve got all this quota
23:46 business going on we’re going to do nothing but cause problems yes I
23:50 I totally agree with you Alan I can always remember a saying from way back
23:56 when it said that the biggest problem with feminism back in the 60s was it
24:02:00 just made women tough and men weak because men did not know what their role was anymore
24:08:00 that’s it and I’ve been really proud of the women who have come into the group as
24:12:00 well because these men have been telling their stories
24:14:00 and some of them have had horrific childhoods and others stuff happen later
24:18:00 on in life and so these men are having what I call a campfire chat they sit
24:22:00 they all got a fire going behind me and it’s as much to the tribal side
24:27:00 as we could then those men are coming together and I’ve had they’ll just
24:31:00 advertise last night to the men I’ve already interviewed one on one to have
24:35:00 panels so we’ve got four of on screen at once we start talking about
24:38:00 issues and these men are fighting to get into that which is great quality
24:42:00 especially when you look at what the suicide rate is like and let’s face it
24:47:00 you know I think it’s like something like 80/20 or something with with men
24:52:00 suiciding and my son’s in construction and he said you know they were always
24:57:00 having talks on suicide and and you know prevention as well as watch you know
25:03:00 watch your colleagues and things like that so that’s a great project because
25:06:00 women do talk to each other they get rid of their their angst and their ideas and
25:12:00 sure they may not follow the advice that is given but at least they get different
25:17:00 perspectives hmm they get a chance to vent in a safe environment and
25:22:00 you’re very supportive one men don’t get that so we needed to create that and the
25:27:00 women some of the we were to put their comments in and everything else and it’s
25:30:00 been wonderful to hear how respectful they have been to the men because if the
25:34:00 men feel that they’ve been put down they’re gonna pull back further so as I
25:38:00 said a safe environment and these men when I hear their stories yeah I know they are horrific I know
25:43:00 I’ve heard the majority of them and they are hmm my next thing there will be to
25:50:00 interview the women as well like yourself we’re talking about your past
25:53:00 everything else so that the men can learn from that as well and realize it’s
25:57:00 not them and us it’s we together yes and now I love the word together I don’t
26:05:00 know if I’ve ever done this with you before let’s break down that word to get her
26:15:00 I have not thought of that before that’s that’s really good now when we look at to get
26:20:00 her right it’s to understand her but it’s also in some cases women bring down
26:28:00 other women hmm and so you can see together I’ve got to bring her down I’ve
26:33:00 got to bring it down and I have another friend of who I’ve actually will have on
26:37:00 the show in a couple of weeks and she’s actually started a movement along the
26:42:00 lines of um I think she’s called it we elevate together and it’s about women
26:49:00 starting to elevate each other instead of
26:52:00 bringing women down so it’s you know and I just think it’s so great that your
26:57:00 thought these helping the man and she’s got this movement helping the women to
27:02:00 bring us up and when I told her you know I broke the word down for her and she
27:07:00 went oh my god Karen can I use that and I said of course you can because my I
27:12:00 love breaking words down it is and you’re more than welcome to you said as
27:17:00 well Hey I’ve already stolen it as long as you know where it came from you mister, no of course it’s there’s
27:27:00 nothing original though I must admit I’ve never heard anyone break that word
27:30:00 down but it’s important because if we truly want to come together we need to
27:36:00 get women and most men can’t most women don’t even get each other so it’s really
27:43:00 important that that’s the way we will surely come together and create the
27:48:00 world that we all want to live in well ninety seven percent of us want to live in
27:52:00 well that’s it and that’s that’s the thing if we can do that and that change
27:56:00 see the first thing I did was I went after men who were running men’s groups
27:59:00 around the world good on you because I wasn’t going for just my local area I
28:03:00 thought no we need to connect and these men are coming in them from India
28:07:00 Italy America in England and other places they’re all coming together
28:13:00 telling their stories and when you listen to them the things they’ve been
28:16:00 through a lot of similarities also it’s breaking down the barriers on
28:20:00 nationalities for a starter mmm because of different religions and everything cause
28:25:00 it’s breaking those barriers down and these men are starting to talk to each other but
28:29:00 having developed a men’s group themselves they obviously had something
28:32:00 happen to them so had a story to tell but they were driven so these are
28:35:00 motivated men that once I really want to get on the show yes bring the women in
28:40:00 so it goes from being a men’s tribe like campfire with the women can listen in so
28:45:00 then becoming a global community of men and women I love it and I could talk to
28:51:00 you all day long but as always I always run out of time on this show Thank You
28:58:00 Alan and I believe as I said earlier all your links are
29:03:00 my voice is gone was spoken so much all the leads to connect with Alan are below
29:09:00 but he does have a couple of free gifts for everyone today
29:14:00 and what are they Alan well first of all there was just the chapter to the book
29:20:00 the game changer which gives you an understanding it is the things I’ve
29:24:00 talked about today that I’ve been through but some tips along the way of
29:28:00 how people can apply that as well there’s also the seven secrets which is
29:33:00 a download from my website which gives you seven secrets of reading
29:38:00 people but it’ll also then send out a number of emails after that every second
29:43:00 day for about a week or so there’ll be a video in there teach with a trait
29:47:00 showing you how to actually read it and what it means so we’re we mentioned a
29:51:00 couple of traits today there’s some other traits and there you’ll be able to
29:54:00 use those and apply them straightaway in your business and your family life and
29:58:00 your private life perfect and please our lovely viewers make sure you take
30:03:00 advantage of this lovely gift from Alan because it really does make a difference
30:08:00 not only in your life but in every other person who you interact with and if
30:14:00 don’t really know how to communicate with your children reach out to Alan
30:18:00 because it’s amazing the stuff that he actually does with children and it’s not
30:23:00 just a one-off thing he stays connected to these families forever
30:29:00 One of my longest-running testimonial has been came through to me eight years after I
30:34:00 worked with the family and they’re still getting results so they it’s become a
30:38:00 report an ongoing report not so much a testimonial of what they’ve actually
30:43:00 got out of it and how they keep applying it and keep growing I love it and I love
30:49:00 the fact that you getting all this way to train people into schools and I also
30:54:00 love the fact that you actually say I love to train my competition not only
31:00:00 train them but I create them as well because I couldn’t find anybody doing
31:04:00 what I was doing I can do a lot of talking and then long time between jobs
31:09:00 I needed to train my competition had more people doing it but I had a moral
31:13:00 obligation to make sure that they’re doing it right so I have to create and
31:17:00 train my competition so that the people they’re
31:19:00 working with get great results and we have a great reputation for what it is
31:23:00 and you will leave such a legacy not that you’re going anywhere on to your
31:27:00 next adventure for quite a while but thank you Alan for actually being brave
31:32:00 enough courageous enough to actually start a new field that a lot of people
31:39:00 have said to you there’s no scientific proof this works this works but the
31:43:00 proof is in the pudding and it’s in all the actions and it’s in the better
31:47:00 relationships that everyone’s creating so well done thank you well it’s a
31:51:00 website they’re full of testimonials from all different areas of life so it
31:55:00 works it does work and as always I love having you as my guest
32:00:00 so thanks Alan and I’m sure I’ll have you back another time thanks very much
32:04:00 and that has been another episode of live love by design TV isn’t Alan
32:11:00 Stevens the most amazing person don’t you just love what he does assisting
32:16:00 people to build better relationships not only with themselves but with each other
32:22:00 imagine living in a world where you instantly can connect with anyone and
32:28:00 you know how to build rapport with them you know how to speak with them in a way
32:33:00 that they would like to be spoken to just imagine there would be no more Wars there’d
32:40:00 be very few misunderstandings we would always understand and interpret exactly
32:48:00 how the person conveying whatever message they were saying in the correct
32:54:00 manner take time to click on the links below this video connect with Alan
33:01:00 download his free gifts and start today becoming the first day where you
33:09:00 actually start to not only learn more about yourself but also learning how you
33:16:00 can actually connect with people through learning the art of reading people it’s
33:24:00 that simple isn’t it thank you again for being here I really do appreciate you
33:29:00 spending the time at Live Love by Design TV so bye for now
33:35:00 and I look forward to seeing you on another video real soon thank you


Karen Chaston: Show Host and Executive Producer

“I feel like I’m at the stage in my life, where honestly, I’m interested in giving back through showing people an easier way to do life, one where they don’t have to settle for less. One where they can learn from any mistakes I’ve already made. One that really makes it possible for them to live their dream life where every relationship in their life is complete, especially the one with them self. That is the true Essence of Live Love By Design.”  ~ Karen Chaston

As a former corporate Chief Financial Officer, Karen brings a unique perspective; extensive business experience and hard-earned wisdom that she wished were available to her when she needed them. Her many Live Love gems (tools and tips) will assist you to create your new normal life after any major loss. You will love who you become, all your relationships and any work you do will become more meaningful and effective.

For more details about Karen, her programs and other publications please visit: and

Thank You Dan Chaston for Continually Assisting & Guiding

Your Mum From the Other Side.

We Honour You. We Thank You. We Love You. We Miss You.