Maura Sweeney
“Living Happy Inside Out.”
“Ultimately, When We Learn to Love,
That is When We Are Able to Live Fully.”
Maura Sweeney:
“We do our most growing when we go through hard times.”
Maura Sweeney’s Short Bio
Maura Sweeney is on a personal mission to uplift and unite the human race — from the inside out. She has trademarked Ambassador of Happiness®,
A self-professed law school “escapee,” Maura left behind careful family grooming and expectations at age 23 to pioneer her own way to personal happiness, purpose and authenticity.
A former decorated corporate manager and home-schooling mom, she set out at midlife to inspire and empower others with reflective questions, personal stories and paradigm-shifting concepts on topics of identity, influence and personal leadership.
Featured on NBC, BBC, European TV and African press, she’s keynoted in nine countries, lectured aspiring FBI and CIA candidates, spoken at the inaugural Nelson Mandela Day celebrations and joined several celebrities as a spoken word contributor to Action Moves People United raising awareness for world peace.
Author, Podcaster, frequent media guest and International Speaker, Maura was named Woman of the Decade at the 2018 Women’s Economic Forum at The Hague.
Her greatest joy and satisfaction comes from helping people see themselves through a brighter and more hopeful lens. Perhaps the best endorsement of Maura comes from her husband, a man she met in college 40 years ago, who created her catchy website name.
Maura’s Contact Details:
Your Free Gifts From Maura Sweeney
In this book on Values, you’ll follow Maura in discovering her favorite value — Truth — and learn why and how it has become a dynamic and signature part of her life. When it comes to finding happiness, discovering and adhering to our own set of values is key. In this book, you’ll be invited to reflect upon one or more values in your own life that bring you personal empowerment and a signature identity, too. Reflective questions and exercises to get you there are included.
In the second book about Influence, Maura expands upon the role of influence in ways that will personally impact you and your life — regardless of who you are. Read about several individuals who influenced the author’s early life and helped shape her future in a positive fashion. More importantly, discover the potential of your own influence and see yourself through a more empowered lens, too. Additional content and reflective exercises are included.
[inf_infusionsoft_inline optin_id=”optin_7″]
Maura Sweeney: Live Love By Design Complete Guest Profile
Raised in Lyndhurst, New Jersey, young Maura could peer from the top of her hometown to the skyline of New York City a few miles in the distance. Half Irish and half Italian, she grew up the eldest of three, with one brother close in age and a second one 13 years her junior. Carefully groomed to practice law like her late grandfather, she fantasized about traveling the world in a goodwill capacity instead.
While friends played with dolls and dreamed about getting married and having children of their own, Maura immersed herself elsewhere. She found a unique portal in her elementary school’s library, discovering inspiration in biographies of pioneers, leaders and social change makers. At age 11, fascinated by the written word, she bought a home correspondence course and taught herself how to use a typewriter. In high school, she was active in student government, editor of the school newspaper and delivered the graduation speech, From Dreams to Reality.
Early efforts to satisfy parental expectations while satisfying those of her own catalyzed and reached an impasse by age 23. After receiving a B.A. in Political Science, Maura exited law school mid-stream to pioneer her own path toward career fulfillment. A decade in corporate management honed her leadership and mentoring skills and also formed the genesis of her philosophy on positively-charged working cultures. Corporate burnout and the chance to raise and home educate her growing daughter brought an end to Maura’s traditional career while enabling her to take advantage of volunteer opportunities at home and abroad that would eventually find larger expression.
Today, Maura has turned some of her early dreams to reality. For starters, she’s traveled to 60 countries and experienced many cultures first-hand. Writer, podcaster and frequent media guest, she’s an active voice for personal leadership, authenticity and a better society. The trademarked Ambassador of Happiness, (the UNESCO Center for Peace first gave her this moniker when they invited her to speak at the inaugural Nelson Mandela Day celebrations), Maura is also an international speaker. With a focus on inner happiness and personal responsibility, she’s keynoted at universities, leadership conferences and strategic venues where her uplifting and unifying perspectives bring value to audiences of diverse backgrounds. In 2018, Maura was presented with the Women of the Decade Award for Personal Leadership at the Women’s Economic Forum in The Hague.
If Maura could leave a single word behind as her legacy, it would be “Love.”
She and her husband Jim have been together since 1977 when they first met as university students. They live in Florida, travel frequently and are crazy about their grown daughter who’s now working on turning some of her own dreams to reality, too.
Click for Complete Transcript of this Show
0:14 hello and welcome to another episode of live love by design TV
0:20 I’m Karen Chaston and today you are in for a real treat
0:26 I’m going to bring in my beautiful guest Maura Sweeney hello Maura how are you
0:31 Karen I’m great how are you today I’m so excited now some of our viewers
0:38 may remember that I had a conversation with Maura
0:41 it was actually my first show of live life by design TV and it was probably
0:46 about a few months ago anyway I think I’m about seventeen eighteen shows in so
0:51 that’s how long ago it is so today we are have reconnected to actually talk
0:57 about the book radical forgiveness now I’m not sure if you remember but
1:01 Maura was all about forgiveness and a month or so after I chatted with Maura I
1:07 this book came into my life and as soon as I read it I reached out to Maura and I
1:13 asked her to read it and she just has so that’s what we’re going to discuss today
1:18 and it’s a totally new concept isn’t it – forgiveness Maura you know you would
1:24 say that and you know I feel like I’ve lived so much of my adult life even my
1:28 early life in that but I would say for me this has taken it to like another
1:33 level and I’m still looking forward to the additional outcomes and the benefits
1:37 of this whole concept it is so for our viewers it’s all about understanding
1:43 that no one does anything to you they do it for you on a soul level and I know
1:51 that is really hard for a lot of people to understand especially if you have
1:56 been abused in any way especially sexually emotionally it’s not an easy
2:03 concept to actually take on to say well why would my soul learn from this
2:09 experience but it really is magical when you go through the process isn’t it
2:14 Maura yes and I can say that from multiple
2:18 experiences it’s amazing and if I could even add the theme of
2:22 this book to the theme of your show where you say Live Love by design do you
2:28 know ultimately when we learn to love that’s when we’re finally able to live
2:34 fully and so the topic today and the theme of your show all about forgiveness
2:41 because we really we withhold life from us when we withhold forgiveness I
2:45 totally agree but it’s also the energy within our bodies that we keep you know
2:51 those stuck feelings let’s face it you know emotions are energy in motion and
2:57 when they get stuck inside your body it’s the holding of them it’s the
3:02 weighing down of them that really does not only age you it makes you more
3:09 negative than positive which means you’re not going to have as much joy and
3:13 love as you said in your life I totally agree and an interesting thing about
3:19 this book if I could just backtrack I will tell you I probably learned it
3:23 around 9 years old that the idea of holding an offense was not good for me
3:27 even if I was the one holding the offense it was not good for me so I
3:31 recognize that that sense of energy and I’ve always throughout the course of my
3:36 life every time I was afraid afraid of the future fearful that
3:41 something bad was going to happen or felt anxious in any way I would always
3:45 say to myself is there anybody and I would always go to God is there anybody
3:49 God that I have somewhere in the recesses of my mind and my subconscious
3:55 that I’m holding something against and I’d say show me anybody because I would
4:00 make this blanket decision it’s like the one life decision whoever it is whatever
4:05 it is whatever the circumstances it’s forgiven I’m not holding anything
4:09 against anybody because I understood that withholding love or holding an
4:14 offense against another was also working against my own peace and when you don’t
4:19 have peace you really can’t have life but now I totally forgot what the next
4:22 question was that you asked me on an answer that is amazing because I wanted
4:27 to run with that for a little while good did you know at nine that it was weighing
4:34 you down and you did not want to withhold that was it from people around
4:39 you who we’re doing it and you thought I don’t want to be like that or what how was it as
4:42 that’s really young to understand that you can see my face and I’m going to tell
4:48 you Karen I might as well say this is probably going to be one of the most
4:51 transparent interviews I’ve ever given and as a disclosure at the beginning I
4:58 want anybody who may know me personally or know my family to understand
5:03 something as I’m sharing information this is not to degrade anyone because I
5:09 never two things I never want to come off as a victim and I never want to be a
5:13 blamer of anybody else because somehow someway I always knew that there was a
5:19 spiritual connection in my life and nothing on this level with people with
5:24 images with impressions was ever in my mind going to get in the way of where I
5:29 wanted to go which is you know that unity with God which to me it’s perfect
5:33 peace okay so I needed to say that is upfront disclosure now I will tell you
5:39 going back to age 9 it’s a story and I did share this once before I often when
5:46 I was small felt like I could never do the things I wanted to do that’s very
5:50 common among kids but one of the things I wanted to do is to be able to stay up
5:53 later when my ninth birthday came around I said to my mother you know mom I don’t
5:59 need any presents for my birthday this year the only present I want which I
6:03 knew costs no money I want to be able to stay up until nine o’clock at night and
6:07 she said absolutely not and the relationship we had was she was very
6:12 authoritarian and very confident and I knew there was no debate and I got
6:17 really because to me I thought I had one over on her cuz she couldn’t say what too
6:25 expensive don’t want to buy it don’t like the style all it was to say
6:29 yes to nine o’clock so I was nine eight going on nine and I got Karen I can’t
6:35 tell you I got so offended so angry and more than that because she wasn’t
6:40 willing to discuss it I being I had to always be polite I knew
6:44 that much growing up I really couldn’t be a sassy person so you know what I did
6:49 I gave my mother the silent treatment and so I was polite around the table she
6:53 would ask do you want this do you want that no thank you but I would have no
6:56 conversation by the end of a day and a half I can’t tell you what I felt like
7:02 the awareness of feeling disgusting despicable hating myself feeling like a
7:10 ball of dirt I don’t even know how to describe it how would an eight year old
7:14 going on nine describe it I felt terrible about myself and I thought I’m
7:18 never gonna win at this game and nor is it worth it for me to try because the
7:24 what I’m gonna put myself through is far too uncomfortable and I can’t stand it
7:29 so you know what I thought I can’t do anything about it but I don’t want to
7:32 feel miserable I’m just gonna let it go and that was my first learning
7:37 experience on what happens when we stop holding an offense the offense was not
7:43 working against my mother it was working against me and so that was my earliest
7:48 recollection and I could tell you I could build you skyscrapers from there
7:53 but that is perfect Maura because that’s exactly what this book really does talk
7:59 about and reiterate in the fact that we’re holding all these feelings within
8:04 we’re angry with someone we’re not loving them and they’re not
8:09 even aware of it you are weighing yourself down by not giving this
8:14 forgiveness over to them they’re not even aware that you are still carrying
8:20 all of this angst about the event about so much of it that it is really great
8:27 for you to get that at such a young age because your mother probably didn’t even
8:33 really care I’m glad you said that because that was one of the things I thought she has not even notice that fact that I am not talking or that I’m
8:41 angry and it was so frustrating and that was what I thought I realized I was up
8:46 against the wall so what was I fighting and the easiest
8:49 thing for me to do this isn’t another way for people who are listening today
8:52 to consider this you know some people they don’t like to forgive they don’t
8:56 like to forget you know what I did I just dropped it it was too hard to carry
9:00 yes and that was an easy decision for me to make and I’m telling you after that I
9:05 personally felt so much better yes I did not get to go up till nine o’clock but
9:10 I felt so much better what time was your normal bedtime anyway
9:14 oh my goodness you know I could tell you my mother shared with me that at four
9:19 thirty or four o’clock in the afternoon she got me in my pajamas if I could ever go back in
9:23 time and look up in the old days early 60s when the Mickey Mouse series
9:31 finished on TV maybe six six thirty I was in bed Oh wow way to early I know that
9:37 was pretty early so you can see why I was trying to get up till nine o’clock was a
9:39 big deal maybe if you should have gone 8:00 you may have got it okay so let’s talk about the book so what is
9:48 it that you found when you were reading in these what did what awareness did it
9:53 bring to you well I’ll give you my first impression maybe some of your listeners
10:00 are familiar with the Course in Miracles that’s a book I read maybe 10 years ago
10:04 and that had been floating around but I happen to open that book you know for a
10:08 lot of people it’s very cryptic and it’s a little too metaphysical but when I
10:12 read it that whole story is all about forgiveness but forgiveness we give to
10:16 others we give to ourselves and it reunites us to our awarenesses as one
10:20 with god yes when I first got this book and read the opening story which the
10:27 author refers to several times I have to tell you I thought I have to read this
10:31 whole book I just got and I already know this yes the interesting thing was as
10:36 right after I got off the opening story which I understood was the author’s way
10:41 of introducing the concept and the connection wasn’t it a great way to hook you in
10:45 straightaway yes you know what it was and then
10:49 when he went into other stories on the connections between our forgiveness on
10:55 one level when other people are unaware of it and how on another completely
10:59 different level it changes relationships without our doing anything that really
11:04 got my interest and then there was more he talked about the situations where he
11:10 had dealt with people that were so sick especially with cancer patients or
11:15 others that had chronic issues and that when they went through this process of
11:20 just forgiving something that happened in their past that was living rent-free
11:24 in their head and also by extension their body that so got my attention and
11:30 my interest because Karen I may not at this point in my life yet be able to
11:35 prove everything I intuitively know to be true about heaven about earth about
11:41 our reality versus this illusionary world down here but I plan on getting
11:47 there where I could say even in spite of the fact that like I could tell you in
11:51 my own life anybody you could see I had my thyroid removed I’m coughing again I
11:57 I could remember being 25 years old and I had a sales job and I would come into
12:02 the morning and I think my gosh I have to get on the phone but I have a frog in
12:05 my throat when I was in my latter 20s I was managing a branch office which meant
12:11 I had to do a lot of public speaking and I’m thinking why do I always have
12:14 problems with my voice my voice the connection with my voice issues with
12:20 walking pneumonia you name it it’s all connected with what I was willing to say
12:25 and not willing to say and as many times as I’ve gone to say all right already
12:30 I’m ready what is the solution what else can I do somehow in this book I realize
12:35 it’s a long answer to what you’re saying Karen I feel like I got another key as
12:39 much as I open the book and thought I already know it the key that I got and you might
12:44 have to have me on again yes because I’m interested in seeing the
12:47 outcome is that as much as I I could forgive anybody anything including one
12:51 man who when I was like three four years old sexually molested me I was so happy
12:56 to figure out that’s why I had those issues that’s why I was fearful and that
13:01 was the face I had forgot immediately I thought forgive the guy
13:05 he didn’t know what he was doing I could let it go as easily as possible
13:09 the connection Karen that I believe is in this book that brings everything to
13:14 another level at least for me is that I could forgive but I think what I never
13:20 allowed myself to do was to go to those places and literally express and give
13:28 place or let’s say acknowledge my emotions and that’s what I use this book
13:34 for when I did my most recent and I have a feeling that for whatever reason – I
13:41 couldn’t give place to certain emotions as a child and that ability to stuff and
13:47 stuff down or pack away someplace is the very thing that continues to show up
13:52 again again here so I tell you anyway I don’t want to keep talking because I
13:57 could go on now that it’s beautiful exactly what you said Thank You Maura
14:01 thank you for sharing you know so many personal things and experiences more importantly
14:07 as anything that happens to us as a child especially if we know as an adult
14:11 it was wrong for that adult to perpetrate that on you as a child we’re
14:18 told not to talk about it we’re told it’s between us you know
14:22 don’t tell anyone because they know it’s wrong so the fact that you were told to
14:27 not express about it and you shoved it down and shoved it down and shoved it down
14:32 that’s what I love about this book more than anything else is the fact that it
14:38 has worksheets and the worksheets allow you to go through a process of you let
14:46 me just go through the five processes six out so telling the story for you to tell the
14:52 story as as an adult and also as a child and then feeling the feelings because
14:59 you would have shoved those feelings down and not been our able to express
15:04 them they would have been totally running around inside of you and
15:10 stopping you from as you said voicing your opinion when you should then it’s
15:15 about collapsing the story because from a child’s
15:19 perspective or from whatever perspective our perspective is never doesn’t make it
15:23 real because as you know what our beliefs come into it our awareness
15:28 our perspective may not be the reality of exactly what’s happened and by
15:33 writing out the story really does bring that up and then you start to go towards
15:38 a reframe and you reframe that story and then you integrate the shift into your
15:43 body now I’m not talking about or degrading any abuse that has happened to
15:52 anyone but it’s about understanding and being
15:56 able to live with that abuse forgiving the abuser and well I don’t say you have
16:02 to like the abuser or hang out with abuser or make them one of your friends
16:05 or anything like that but it’s about understanding that that event occurred
16:10 into your life so that you could become the person that you decided to become
16:16 before you came down to earth and without that event in your life you may
16:22 not be able to do your main purpose for being here so I hope our viewers
16:29 understand that I’m not degrading any situation but it’s about understanding
16:34 and forgiving so that you can move on and I think a great little story that
16:41 it’s just popped into my head and I don’t want to keep talking anyway and I
16:46 think it was the Columbine shootings it was one of those school shootings and I
16:51 remembered hearing an interview with I can’t think of his first name but the
16:57 CEO of Hay House mr. Reed he was talking to Esther Hicks
17:02 and he asked her you know and Abraham about this mother whose child was shot
17:10 in that in that shooting and the child was aware before he even went to school
17:16 that day that he was not coming home really yes and it’s an amazing interview
17:23 and I just got shivers telling you about it so the mother um she in hindsight to
17:30 his very aware of the things he said and and the
17:33 things that he’d done right they had a whiteboard in their house he drew a
17:36 picture of the family he wasn’t in that picture little things like that before
17:41 he went to school and anyway after the shooting she chose to do a pathway of
17:49 not trying to control the guns but more about let’s looking at our children to
17:56 see signs in them to see that they’ve changed the child who did the shooting
18:01 there were very obvious signs in hindsight that he had changed and he was
18:08 depressed and that he may go down that road but she was setting up programs to
18:14 do that now it would have been very easy for her to never forgive that that
18:19 person but she became to realize that her child had to be shot and killed for
18:25 her to go down that path to save other children so that’s what I love about
18:31 radical forgiveness in the fact that you can take any horrible situation in your
18:39 life and go beyond and see what is this on a soul development level that I can
18:47 heal so that I can do what I’m meant to do does that Karen yes that story I’ve never
18:55 heard about that the child and the mother I’ll send you the recording it’s a such
18:59 a great recording all right you know what I this is very interesting this
19:03 book did a really good job of reaching out to every sort of mindset so there’s
19:09 some that believe in God some that may not believe in God but believe in
19:12 science he actually at one point referred to this as a technology and
19:16 energy what you just described about this Columbine parent and the whole
19:22 situation is something it took me over the course of decades to sort of come to
19:27 the awareness of in my own life we can live in negative energy which to me
19:31 would be like death negative energy is I’m a victim the world is against me
19:37 anything bad can happen at any time I better protect myself and separate
19:41 from everybody and never make a move because any potential move
19:45 could mean death or destruction or whatever but the other side of it and
19:49 this goes back to are we going to live on the side of humanity or are we going
19:53 to see the divine side which has great order and magnificence and really peace
19:58 and that’s the place where we recognize at some level that we all came from
20:05 the same source that we’re all eternal beings and a lot of religious people may
20:11 have problems with that but I know somehow we all came from the same source
20:17 and that’s the real place so you know what I always remembered and this is
20:22 similar to what you’re explaining whenever I would feel low I would go up
20:27 to my bedroom this could be as a child or it could be as literally as an adult it
20:30 could have been last week whenever I feel challenged with things going on in
20:35 this world or something goes wrong that I don’t like or it upsets me I will go
20:39 to my own private space and place and I will literally change the energy around
20:44 and how do I do it I will think in a different way and what I’m looking for
20:49 is that mental and emotional and spiritual space you could literally feel
20:53 it where everything is ordered everything is full of peace and
20:58 everything has this sense of benevolence not just for me that’s gonna work out
21:02 well for me but that in the divine order of things
21:06 everyone will be lifted up and United in the process so that was another really
21:12 good thing about this book because maybe these are things that I kind of learned
21:15 or discerned by stumbling through life but he did a very excellent job of
21:21 packing it down to pragmatic ways that anybody for really any background if
21:27 they really allow themselves to they could get the concepts and by getting
21:32 those concepts and agreeing to them they can experience new things and totally
21:37 agree and I love the way he even said even if you do not believe in this
21:42 process just do it it will still work you do not have to believe in a higher
21:48 being you do not have to believe that we’re all connected we’re all one and we
21:52 all came here together and and that’s what I love about
21:56 it because if the world took on these concepts there would be no wars people
22:03 would allow people to be who they are to have their beliefs like how many you
22:09 know wars have been fought over religion it’s it’s absolutely ridiculous
22:14 who cares what anyone else thinks or who they pray to does it really matter
22:19 no no because when we make that matter that’s where the wars begin that’s where
22:25 the judgments start that’s when the the ability to apply some belief about
22:30 another person that may or may not even be true comes into being rather than
22:35 allowing people to be who they are and seeing them I want to say this I read
22:40 this in the latter part of the book it’s seeing Christ in everyone now you don’t
22:44 have to think about religious Christ but that whole idea of that divinity that
22:49 oneness that familiar place that you recognize in yourself as well
22:53 I had shall I share this with you this is a really good one okay it’s very
22:57 practical and I think a lot of people could relate
23:00 to it my mother-in-law who back in 1977 realized she didn’t like me accept me
23:05 whatever cuz I wasn’t polish like her and she didn’t choose me had made this
23:09 decision I’m not going to accept Maura okay so that was the reality I lived
23:14 with for decades okay one day I was at my sister-in-law’s
23:19 house and this is after going through all kinds of behavior patterns I’m
23:22 trying to get her approval nothing is working she’s icing me out of conversations
23:27 but whatever so you know all these feelings right this is what happened to
23:31 me and I picked it up and I thought it immediately reminded me of it today one day
23:36 while at my sister-in-law’s house we were at the table the kitchen table and
23:41 for whatever reason maybe I’d moved to the sink and I saw her get up and she
23:46 was walking away from me so I wasn’t seeing her from her face I was seeing
23:50 her from behind and here for the very first time I saw a completely different
23:55 woman I saw her from the perspective of this is a woman who didn’t know me who
24:02:00 is fearful of something different than what was like her and she had her
24:06:00 guard up in a way of protection and I’m not going to say it shifted everything
24:10:00 but Karen in that very moment I saw her heart and her soul rather than her
24:17:00 persona and that I’m telling you well we could do that it helps it shifts
24:22:00 everything and it makes so much of that extra negative energy and a lot of those
24:27:00 lies just dissipate I’ve had that happen several times with people but I just
24:31:00 loved it when this man reminded me of that today but more importantly to
24:36:00 looking at from her perspective you were taking away her son yes exactly exactly
24:44:00 and every mother knows an I’m going to get emotional over this when a son marries
24:52:00 you do lose your son they you know I only have a daughter but I have heard
24:57:00 that many times you don’t lose your daughter yeah see and so not that I was ever trying to
25:06:00 but every woman knows that that you know you you will say and that’s what it
25:11:00 is so when you look at it from that perspective you then sort of think oh
25:15:00 you know and it’s funny you know that that she actually did that because I
25:20:00 have consciously consciously I get on with my daughter-in-law and
25:26:00 she’s polish believe it or not so you know there’s something she does I don’t
25:33:00 disagree but I just let that go I’m sure there is heaps of stuff I do that
25:37:00 she disagrees with as well but overall I honestly do like her but I have
25:42:00 consciously said I will always get on with my daughter-in-law and my oldest
25:47:00 son looks like he’ll he’ll get married soon as well which would be great and
25:51:00 and I will do exactly the same with him I don’t understand women who consciously
25:56:00 alienate their in-laws like their daughter-in-laws or their son-in-laws
26:01:00 what’s the point you know you’re actually saying that I disagree with my
26:07:00 child’s choice and to honor and to celebrate your child you have to say
26:13:00 well that wouldn’t have been my choice but I will honor you and I will make
26:18:00 sure she becomes or he becomes part of our family quite
26:22:00 interesting isn’t it isn’t it and you know what really when you look at life
26:26:00 so many scenarios play out over and over again the details on the faces may
26:30:00 change but it is I feel rejected rather than included and
26:34:00 yet do you know the bottom line I really believe because I think it’s it’s where
26:39:00 we all came from we all came from the place of unity and love but here on the
26:43:00 earthly environment where we all live the bottom line is we are looking to be
26:49:00 accepted to be loved just for the just for being ourselves not for being
26:53:00 somebody else or somebody somebody wants us to be and I think that we could have
26:59:00 a completely different world and I know a lot of times wherever I go I kind of
27:03:00 look for stories to tell that convey that thought but when we live in a
27:08:00 society the generation after generation continues to promote the idea of
27:12:00 division polarization fear hatred the other etc people you know you said you
27:20:00 consciously chose to get along with your daughter-in-law a lot sometimes people
27:25:00 give away their own consciousness to someone else’s ideas and they adopt them
27:29:00 as their own and so I might say the same about myself I look for ways to make
27:34:00 things work because I know what it’s like to feel at peace that I know what
27:38:00 it’s like to feel in harmony and to create those environments yes but I must
27:43:00 admit I am so much more consciously aware you know since Dan passed over
27:48:00 seven years ago when what I was and and she has come into my life since then and
27:53:00 I totally understand that we are all living in a world of separateness right
28:01:00 and we all used to be oneness and it’s all I I I but when we come to a
28:08:00 realization that it is actually we and the way we can more easily become we is
28:15:00 we don’t have to be right we don’t have to agree but we don’t have to push our
28:21:00 way onto other people and that’s what this book actually does it shows you
28:27:00 that if you don’t get the lesson from one person you are going to get it again
28:32:00 from another person and they’ll have a different body
28:34:00 they’ll have a different scenario but the lessons are going to keep coming at
28:38:00 you until you get them and everything in your life is about you learning and
28:44:00 growing on a soul level and that’s what I this book I just really do love and
28:51:00 the worksheets oh my god the awareness you get when you start
28:54:00 doing these worksheets and they’re really easy to fill in they take a while they do I don’t know about you I’ve done a few of them
29:04:00 they’ve taken at least two hours for each one yes which which is good because you
29:10:00 really get the awareness through handwriting do you feel that that when
29:14:00 you handwrite you get so much more awareness than when you type yes I’ve told
29:21:00 that to others do you know energetically you could I’ve done this before with my
29:24:00 own journals yes I and I always like to keep journals I’d like to be reflective
29:29:00 I could go back to my handwritten journals and because I’m looking at my
29:34:00 old handwriting I’m immediately back in the moment of when I wrote that
29:38:00 so not only back in the moment but all the emotions all the perspectives the
29:43:00 feelings everything right back there somebody told me that there’s actually some
29:48:00 kind of a connection between our writing yes versus the typing typing cuts off
29:54:00 something but the handwriting literally it’s like it continues to live on
29:58:00 energetically isn’t that amazing because I guess it’s more than the flow of it it’s
30:04:00 the flow more than the typing okay because you’re using one hand and that’s
30:09:00 another thing with handwriting if you use your non-dominant hand to write
30:13:00 you’ll have a different perspective in what you’re writing than if you’re using
30:17:00 your dominant hand yes I’ve heard that too and I’ve even experimented with it
30:22:00 sometimes I’d ask myself a question with my non-dominant hand and look for the
30:27:00 answer and I would get it would like an answer would come from a different place
30:30:00 there it isn’t this stuff amazing I just love this and I look we have I
30:36:00 don’t even know how long I’ve been going because I forgot to look at the clock when we
30:38:00 started but anyway it’s a lot of information so I’d like to ask you you mentioned
30:45:00 before we came on air that you had done a worksheet would you like to share what
30:51:00 you found in in completing that worksheet yes I will
30:55:00 this is once before you could see my face this coming from the woman who could tell any
31:02:00 funny story but when it comes to another story is like ahh all right I’m going to do
31:06:00 it because it’s very interesting especially as I read it aloud to my
31:10:00 husband he said to me this feels heavy the story that I was getting to use as
31:16:00 my story went back to maybe when I was two and a half or three years old we
31:21:00 lived in a split-level home at the time I had a baby brother
31:26:00 who was probably in a crib at the time and I had twin beds in my room and I
31:31:00 slept at the far end of the bedroom away from the door okay there was a space in
31:37:00 between then another twin bed in the middle of the night one night real or
31:42:00 imagined but let’s say it was all imaginary right I saw in like wrapped up
31:48:00 in coils huge snakes we see my arms they were about this size maybe thicker I
31:54:00 want to say at least two or three they were sort of they were in a coil fashion
31:58:00 but they were stacked now imagine to a two and a half three year old child I
32:02:00 was petrified it was like shocking what are these things doing in my dark
32:08:00 bedroom baby I could I could still kind of conjure them up in my mind right now
32:12:00 I probably as a 60 year old I’d be petrified oh okay but imagine this two-and-a-half
32:18:00 three-year-old I was old so this is where I was and
32:22:00 I even when I was doing this exercise I thought did I call to my parents for
32:27:00 help my sense is that I did but my listen to this Karen my voice was
32:33:00 unheard because I got no response and all I can think of is how could I get
32:37:00 out of this room with these snakes because in order to do so I got to kind
32:41:00 pass by the snakes around them to get out the door
32:44:00 as it turns out Karen I did and I managed to exit the door safely and I
32:51:00 could immediately travel up three to four steps to get into my parents room
32:54:00 they had the top floor on this split-level home sorry I’m so happy and I went in and I said I’m so afraid there are snakes in my room I
33:06:00 managed I think my father put me in the bed between them and between my mother
33:11:00 and father and for those minutes Oh Karen I was like you know when you feel
33:15:00 like you’re totally comforted I was like oh thank God I couldn’t even say thank God
33:21:00 back then but in my own mind I was safe and sound and secure well within what
33:27:00 appeared to me to be like no time as in a few minutes my mother said to my
33:31:00 father put her in her bed Oh he pick me up brought me downstairs put
33:37:00 me back in the same bed and I was not only horrified by the snakes at first
33:42:00 and frightened by that but I was like why are you taking me away from you
33:45:00 you’re the other people I feel safe around
33:47:00 well it didn’t end there Karen because at some point later the snakes
33:51:00 reappeared in the room and I escaped again
33:55:00 and the next time I went up to the door the door was locked and I must have
34:00:00 knocked on the door tried to move it my mother said to me go back to bed and i
34:06:00 sat there as this little child right outside I don’t want to go back to my bedroom
34:11:00 and I I was in such a state of shock like I thought it was very hard for me
34:17:00 to process at all my little pajamas I’m leaning against the wall on the stairway
34:22:00 and I thought nobody’s gonna help me where do I go I can’t I was I’m so
34:27:00 shocked and I felt so abandoned alone isolated let me use those words and I
34:33:00 thought well do I sleep here all night but I remember was very uncomfortable
34:36:00 maybe when the sunlight started coming on I went back to my bed but I’m telling
34:41:00 you Karen at that juncture in my life and this is we’re not speaking somewhere
34:46:00 and I wrote about this I must have and I remember it I must have made a
34:50:00 realization that I didn’t have anybody to go to that I was not protected and
34:55:00 that I needed to take care of myself and what a age to get that but but you know what I feel
35:03:00 here’s the thing I think that wasn’t the only time I made such a vow to myself
35:07:00 given my age and my vulnerability as a child that it was my way of being able
35:14:00 to persevere in the midst of circumstances that were very hard to
35:18:00 deal with so anyway fast forward I have to tell
35:21:00 you that experience repeated itself as I started doing these exercises and you
35:28:00 can see my face yeah I’m laughing but I’m laughing like wow I use the same words
35:34:00 there were doors that were locking doors that were closing it was like I’m
35:38:00 talking about for a lifetime and several things that were such commonalities in
35:43:00 the original story of my life and I’m smiling now because the bigger thing in
35:50:00 this picture it’s not like I didn’t remember this event or whatever I just
35:54:00 allowed myself by going through the process the two-hour long process of
35:59:00 writing it down and literally giving honor and acknowledging my feelings and
36:07:00 allowing myself to be that little two and a half three year old and so I want
36:10:00 to tell you this is why we might have to do another follow up I really expect as
36:14:00 a result of not only doing it now sharing with you not that I was planning
36:17:00 on it that I believe somewhere in my thyroid the chronic cough the fact that
36:24:00 I’m coughing because I’ve never really coughed at what I wanted to say and the
36:28:00 energy itself that is so depleted me as a result of this lifelong cough is going
36:33:00 to dissipate and I’m going to self heal yes and can I share one other thing
36:39:00 I totally agree especially when you come to the I completely forgive myself yes
36:49:00 so once you do the reframe and you really and you stop being the victim and
36:54:00 you actually understand it and and because obviously you come back from an
36:58:00 adult’s perspective of it all um so you’ll forgive your parents especially
37:03:00 your mother and and all of that sort of stuff and you’ll realize exactly why she
37:08:00 was doing it more otherwise she would have had you in her bed every single night and I think so to Karen that I’m a mother and
37:16:00 this is why I will forgive I don’t care who it is it could be heinous things
37:20:00 that was a small thing right but I’m a mother when I ever want my daughter to
37:25:00 hold something against me my life never would I wanted anybody to that’s why
37:29:00 I don’t hold anything against anybody but I just gave place to emotions that I
37:34:00 wouldn’t have wanted to give place to but I have to tell you something else
37:38:00 and this is important in terms of the overall concept of this book as seeing
37:43:00 things from another perspective and even talking about these blueprints for life
37:48:00 before we come here on planet Earth where we’re going to be experiencing certain
37:52:00 things maybe that our soul wants to experience in a way of separateness yes
37:56:00 Karen I have been told many times many times that when I enter a room to speak
38:04:00 because you know I do a lot of public speaking and I can oftentimes I’m around
38:08:00 perfect strangers they will hear something they’ll see something but they
38:13:00 say Maura when you step into a room there’s something about you I feel
38:20:00 without a word being spoken that you understand me now what is the biggest
38:26:00 thing we all suffer from it’s the idea of being isolated alone rejected noone
38:33:00 understands me right and you know something with having that is a little child and
38:37:00 then seeing it repeat itself in various ways throughout my life I you could see
38:44:00 my face to my energy right this is where I always know when on what zone I’m in and
38:48:00 this author speaks about this my calling in life has been to serve as an uplifter
38:54:00 and as a unifier to the differences we have in this world and to bring back the
39:00:00 awareness of love and unity and what better way to relate to people and to
39:06:00 spend decades feeling like oh I’ve got this thing hiding back working somewhere
39:11:00 in my body where I felt like the person who was alone and forgotten and
39:15:00 overlooked and isolated and afraid and vulnerable
39:18:00 etc yes I see that as a grand preparation I could say this easily with
39:25:00 my mother in the room doesn’t matter you know that thing was a favor to me maybe
39:32:00 not on a micro scale because you go through life and you think okay this is
39:35:00 not easy but on a purposeful macro level it really truly brings purpose to the
39:43:00 soul and to a higher purpose what joy is in that really yes and that’s and that’s
39:51:00 what I love about this book it really does assist you to understand that
39:57:00 nothing is done to you it’s done for you yes and it’s about doing the self
40:05:00 exploration feeling the feelings going into it a lot of people don’t want to go
40:11:00 back and feel the feelings and actually understanding and then seeing how you
40:17:00 are better off for that incident absolutely and you know if I could add
40:23:00 things you know my daughter even said this to me when she was in college and
40:27:00 she ended up with interestingly enough a problem with her lungs and she couldn’t
40:32:00 heal them and she kept going I was like oh my gosh and she was in such pain and
40:36:00 she said to me when I went to care for her she said mom she said I know this
40:40:00 has been a really hard time for me but she said you know what I realized the
40:44:00 times we grow the most in life or not when everything is going well
40:48:00 she said we do our most growing when we go through hard times and that was a 16
40:53:00 17 year old girl saying that to me and you know what it is because we grow in
40:57:00 things like grace compassion understanding forgiveness of our own
41:03:00 weaknesses which helps us forgive others and there’s how about this
41:07:00 self-awareness what is it like before on the other side of maybe Mean Girls and
41:12:00 then we decide I’m not going to be a mean girl to anybody whatever it may be
41:16:00 those hard times when we process them through the higher place the god space
41:22:00 the divine space whatever you want to call it they have the capacity to so
41:27:00 transform us into better more vibrant more full-bodied more aware versions of
41:35:00 ourselves I totally agree and I think that is where we are going to end this
41:41:00 conversation and it has been an amazing conversation Thank You Maura for being
41:46:00 so open so honest and actually going in and not only reading the book but
41:52:00 doing the exercises because everyone can read a book but it’s through doing those
41:57:00 exercises that you really do get to understand yourself so much more and
42:04:00 it’s just so rewarding it is well thank you and I’m sure we will have another
42:12:00 conversation on live love by design TV so thank you so much for being here
42:19:00 thank you that has been another episode of Live Love by design TV I am very
42:26:00 grateful for Maura for coming on and discussing the book with me though more
42:31:00 importantly for being so open and so vulnerable
42:35:00 and sharing her stories I highly recommend that you do yourself a favor
42:41:00 and go and get this radical forgiveness book it’s by Colin Tipping and it’s an
42:49:00 amazing process it really does assist you to take any event in your life
42:55:00 small or huge to actually see how it has been done for you not to you and how it
43:03:00 can assist you to actually fulfill everything that you have chosen to
43:10:00 fulfill in this lifetime so thank you again for being here and I look forward
43:16:00 to seeing you on another episode of live love by design TV real soon bye for now
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Karen Chaston: Show Host and Executive Producer
“I feel like I’m at the stage in my life, where honestly, I’m interested in giving back through showing people an easier way to do life, one where they don’t have to settle for less. One where they can learn from any mistakes I’ve already made. One that really makes it possible for them to live their dream life where every relationship in their life is complete, especially the one with them self. That is the true Essence of Live Love By Design.” ~ Karen Chaston
As a former corporate Chief Financial Officer, Karen brings a unique perspective; extensive business experience and hard-earned wisdom that she wished were available to her when she needed them. Her many Live Love gems (tools and tips) will assist you to create your new normal life after any major loss. You will love who you become, all your relationships and any work you do will become more meaningful and effective.
For more details about Karen, her programs and other publications please visit: www.karenchaston.com.au and www.livelovebydesign.com